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Do fish get cramps after eating?

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Fish
Fishes
Eating
Humor
Funny
Cramps

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When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
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I’m so tired... I was up all night trying to round off infinity.
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George Carlin's album, 'Class Clown,' came out when I was in high school. I memorized a lot of that album. I'd come home from school, put it on, and listen over and over. I started memorizing it. I don't even know why. I loved it so much I memorized it.
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Why are they called buildings when they’re already finished? Shouldn’t they be called builts?
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After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting out of the water?
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If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
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Black holes result from God dividing the universe by zero.
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I got a new shadow. I had to get rid of the other one – it wasn’t doing what I was doing.
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Did you sleep well? No, I made a couple of mistakes.
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The sun never sets on the British Empire. But it rises every morning. The sky must get awfully crowded.
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To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism to steal from many is research.
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Imagine how weird phones would look if your mouth was nowhere near your ears.
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Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
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While I was gone, somebody rearranged on the furniture in my bedroom. They put it in exactly the same place it was. When I told my roommate, he said: Do I know you?
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I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
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If heat rises, then heaven must be hotter than hell
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I like to go to art museums and name the untitled paintings... Boy With Pail... Kitten On Fire.
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I got a chain letter by fax. It's very simple. You just fax a dollar bill to everybody on the list.
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I need one of those baby monitors from my subconscious to my consciousness so I can know what the hell I'm really thinking about.
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I saw a bank that said '24 Hour Banking,' but I don't have that much time.
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