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Do fish get cramps after eating?

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Fishes
Eating
Humor
Funny
Cramps
Fish

More quotes by Steven Wright

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If heat rises, then heaven must be hotter than hell
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I'm so hyper. (said with a very dull voice>
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I saw a want ad. light housekeeping. They said Here, change this bulb. I said I'll need some friends.
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I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it.
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I think God's going to come down and pull civilization over for speeding.
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I’m a psychic amnesiac. I know in advance what I’ll forget.
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Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.
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When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect then they told me nobody’s perfect so I stopped practicing.
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Babies don't need a vacation. But I still see them at the beach. It pisses me off.
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It's a fine night to have an evening.
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Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring... 'How to Build a Boat.'
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I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out.
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Sometimes I wish my first word was 'quote,' so that on my death bed, my last words could be 'end quote.'
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Why, in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?
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When I was ten, my pa told me never to talk to strangers. We haven't spoken since.
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I've been doing comedy longer than I haven't been doing comedy, as I was performing for three years before I even got on 'The Tonight Show.' There's truly nothing like it it's intense and exhilarating, even though it looks so casual.
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I recently went to the hardware store and I bought some used paint... it was in a shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. So I had to buy them again.
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Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn shop?
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I once locked my keys out of my car. I had to break out of my car with a coat hanger.
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I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles.
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