Quote

If you got into a taxi and the driver started driving backward, would the taxi driver end up owing you money?

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Money
Taxi
Ends
Backward
Would
Driver
Drivers
Driving
Humor
Started
Funny
Owing

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To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism to steal from many is research.
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I wrote a song, but I can't read music so I don't know what it is. Every once in a while I'll be listening to the radio and I say, I think I might have written that.
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Tinsel is really snakes' mirrors.
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Did you sleep well? No, I made a couple of mistakes.
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I washed a sock. Then I put it in the dryer. When I took it out, it was gone.
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When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?
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Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don't have film.
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I bought a house on a one-way dead-end road. I don’t know how I got there.
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I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
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The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
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I didn't tell any of my friends that I wanted to be a comedian, because I was superstitious. I thought if I told people, it wouldn't happen. So I kept it all in my head for years and years.
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Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
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Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring... 'How to Build a Boat.'
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When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes.'
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What do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?
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