Quote

Last year we drove across the country...We had one cassette tape to listen to on the entire trip... I don't remember what it was.

Steven Wright

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Years
Listen
Humor
Cassette
Year
Cassettes
Lasts
Drove
Last
Trip
Funny
Tape
Remember
Entire
Country
Across

More quotes by Steven Wright

Image
I wear my heart on my sleeve. I wear my liver on my pant leg.
Steven Wright
Image
always remember your unique, just like everone else
Steven Wright
Image
Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
Steven Wright
Image
I saw a bank that said '24 Hour Banking,' but I don't have that much time.
Steven Wright
Image
Black holes result from God dividing the universe by zero.
Steven Wright
Image
Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring... 'How to Build a Boat.'
Steven Wright
Image
Snakes have no arms. That's why they don't wear vests.
Steven Wright
Image
I turned my air conditioner the other way around and it got cold out. The weatherman said 'I don't understand it. It was supposed to be 80 degrees out today.' I said, oops
Steven Wright
Image
What do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?
Steven Wright
Image
Be nice to your children. After all, they are going to choose your nursing home.
Steven Wright
Image
When I have a kid, I want to buy one of those strollers for twins. Then put the kid in and run around, looking frantic. When he gets older, I'd tell him he used to have a brother, but he didn't obey.
Steven Wright
Image
You know the old joke, I went to the fights and a hockey game broke out.
Steven Wright
Image
I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'
Steven Wright
Image
I'm so hyper. (said with a very dull voice>
Steven Wright
Image
I liked school, but I used to dread those moments when the teacher would call me up to give an oral report. I forced myself to deal with it and not dwell on the class in front of me - to keep a straight face, give the report and concentrate on getting it right. That's normally how I perform. That's how I am.
Steven Wright
Image
I got this powdered water - now I don't know what to add.
Steven Wright
Image
I forgot and left the lighthouse on all night. Next day the sun wouldn't rise.
Steven Wright
Image
My girlfriend's weird. One day she asked me, 'If you could know how and when you were going to die, would you want to know?' I said, 'No.' She said, 'Okay, forget it.
Steven Wright
Image
I had just received my degree in Calcium Anthropology... the study of milkmen.
Steven Wright
Image
My girlfriend does her nails with white-out. When she's asleep, I go over there and write misspelled words on them.
Steven Wright