Quote

When I was a kid I had a friend who worked in a radio station. Whenever we walked under a bridge, you couldn't hear what he said.

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Radio
Worked
Couldn
Station
Friend
Bridge
Humor
Stations
Hear
Walked
Funny
Bridges
Kids
Whenever

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All of the people in my building are insane. The guy above me designs synthetic hairballs for ceramic cats.
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Whatever happened to preparations A through G?
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I had my coat hangers spayed.
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I'm not naked, I'm in the band.
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I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out.
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always remember your unique, just like everone else
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I'd like to sing you a song now about my old girlfriend. It's called They'll Find Her When the Leaves Blow Away 'Cause I'm Not Raking 'Til Spring.
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I got this powdered water - now I don't know what to add.
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My friend Sam has one leg. I went to his house. I couldn't go up the stairs.
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Why is it lemon juice contains mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?
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I once locked my keys out of my car. I had to break out of my car with a coat hanger.
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If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
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You know the old joke, I went to the fights and a hockey game broke out.
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If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?
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Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
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At one point he decided enough was enough.
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My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments.
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Your honor, why would anyone in their right mind park in the passing lane?
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I had just received my degree in Calcium Anthropology... the study of milkmen.
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If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
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