Quote

When I was a kid I had a friend who worked in a radio station. Whenever we walked under a bridge, you couldn't hear what he said.

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Radio
Worked
Couldn
Station
Friend
Bridge
Humor
Stations
Hear
Walked
Funny
Bridges
Kids
Whenever

More quotes by Steven Wright

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I wear my heart on my sleeve. I wear my liver on my pant leg.
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They say we're 98% water. We're that close to drowning. I like to live on the edge.
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Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby and say 'What are you doing here? You haven't worked a day in your life!'
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I turned my air conditioner the other way around and it got cold out. The weatherman said 'I don't understand it. It was supposed to be 80 degrees out today.' I said, oops
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My act is an exaggeration of a part of me. I'm much more expressive off stage.
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What a nice night for an evening.
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I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out.
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People may think I'm trying something new by telling stories, but they're just jokes connected to give the illusion of stories. But really, I just continue using my imagination and creating. That's what I do.
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Only one in four jokes ever works, and I still can't predict what people will laugh at.
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I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles.
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I feel very lucky to make a living from my imagination I'm very grateful for that. I like that what I do is create. I'm feeling very lucky to have had the career I had. It's gone much longer and bigger than I ever thought it would be.
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I need one of those baby monitors from my subconscious to my consciousness so I can know what the hell I'm really thinking about.
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I thought I would be a guy on the radio.
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I saw a close friend of mine the other day. . . . He said, Stephen, why haven't you called me? I said, I can't call everyone I want. My new phone has no five on it. He said, How long have you had it? I said, I don't know . . . my calendar has no sevens on it.
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I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.
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Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
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I had amnesia once or twice.
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The sign said eight items or less. So I changed my name to Les.
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Sometimes I wish my first word was 'quote,' so that on my death bed, my last words could be 'end quote.'
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Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
Steven Wright