Quote

When I was a kid I had a friend who worked in a radio station. Whenever we walked under a bridge, you couldn't hear what he said.

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Kids
Whenever
Radio
Worked
Couldn
Station
Friend
Bridge
Humor
Stations
Hear
Walked
Funny
Bridges

More quotes by Steven Wright

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What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
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Five out of four people have trouble with fractions.
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How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t live there?
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I saw a bank that said '24 Hour Banking,' but I don't have that much time.
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When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety.
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A friend of mine is into Voodoo Acupuncture. You don't have to go. You'll just be walking down the street and . . . ooooohhhhhh, that's much better.
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What a nice night for an evening.
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They say you're not supposed to put metal in a microwave oven. They're right.
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I got a new dog. He's a paranoid retriever. He brings back everything because he's not sure what I threw him.
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I saw a close friend of mine the other day. . . . He said, Stephen, why haven't you called me? I said, I can't call everyone I want. My new phone has no five on it. He said, How long have you had it? I said, I don't know . . . my calendar has no sevens on it.
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When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect then they told me nobody’s perfect so I stopped practicing.
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Your honor, why would anyone in their right mind park in the passing lane?
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I saw a want ad. light housekeeping. They said Here, change this bulb. I said I'll need some friends.
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I used to work at a health food store. I got fired for drinking straight Bosco on the job.
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Everything is within walking distance, as long as you have time.
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The sign said eight items or less. So I changed my name to Les.
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I've been doing comedy longer than I haven't been doing comedy, as I was performing for three years before I even got on 'The Tonight Show.' There's truly nothing like it it's intense and exhilarating, even though it looks so casual.
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A fool and his money are soon partying.
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I can't stop thinking like this.
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I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
Steven Wright