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The sign said eight items or less. So I changed my name to Les.
Steven Wright
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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Names
Less
Funny
Items
Sign
Eight
Humor
Changed
Name
More quotes by Steven Wright
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
Steven Wright
Why, in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?
Steven Wright
Why are there five syllables in the word “monosyllabic”?
Steven Wright
I Xeroxed a mirror. Now I have an extra Xerox machine.
Steven Wright
I washed a sock. Then I put it in the dryer. When I took it out, it was gone.
Steven Wright
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
Steven Wright
I used to work at a health food store. I got fired for drinking straight Bosco on the job.
Steven Wright
Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
Steven Wright
I saw a man with a wooden leg and a real foot.
Steven Wright
Everything is within walking distance, as long as you have time.
Steven Wright
I got this powdered water - now I don't know what to add.
Steven Wright
My aunt gave me a walkie-talkie for my birthday. She says if I'm good, she'll give me the other one next year.
Steven Wright
I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
Steven Wright
If I ever had twins, I'd use one for parts.
Steven Wright
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
Steven Wright
If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
Steven Wright
I saw a sign: Rest Area 25 Miles. That's pretty big. Some people must be really tired.
Steven Wright
The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing.
Steven Wright
I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed-reading accident. I hit a bookmark.
Steven Wright
I got an answering machine for my phone. . . . Now, when I'm not home and somebody calls me up . . . they hear a recording of a busy signal.
Steven Wright
