Quote

While I was gone, somebody rearranged on the furniture in my bedroom. They put it in exactly the same place it was. When I told my roommate, he said: Do I know you?

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Funny
Roommate
Place
Furniture
Bedroom
Exactly
Humor
Told
Somebody
Gone
Rearranged

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I've been doing comedy longer than I haven't been doing comedy, as I was performing for three years before I even got on 'The Tonight Show.' There's truly nothing like it it's intense and exhilarating, even though it looks so casual.
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I have two pairs of reading glasses. One pair is for reading fiction, the other for non-fiction. I've read the Bible twice wearing each pair, and it's the same.
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I bought a house on a one-way dead-end road. I don’t know how I got there.
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I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said, 'What for?' I said, 'I'm going to buy some sugar.'
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Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen.
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I had amnesia once or twice.
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If heat rises, then heaven must be hotter than hell
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My girlfriend does her nails with white-out. When she's asleep, I go over there and write misspelled words on them.
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I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it's like a circus in my head.
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When I was ten, my pa told me never to talk to strangers. We haven't spoken since.
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