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I like to go to art museums and name the untitled paintings... Boy With Pail... Kitten On Fire.
Steven Wright
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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Humor
Boys
Name
Untitled
Fire
Pail
Names
Kitten
Funny
Paintings
Art
Museums
Like
Painting
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When I was a kid, I went to the store and asked the guy, Do you have any toy train schedules?
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Doing stand-up is like running across a frozen pond with the ice breaking behind you. I love it because it's dangerous.
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If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
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Why is it lemon juice contains mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?
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I hate it when my leg falls asleep. I know that means it's going to be up all night.
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Do fish get cramps after eating?
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In hindsight, I realized I could see into the future. Which is kind of like having premonitions of flashbacks.
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My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments.
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