Quote

I like to go to art museums and name the untitled paintings... Boy With Pail... Kitten On Fire.

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Names
Kitten
Funny
Paintings
Art
Museums
Like
Painting
Humor
Boys
Name
Untitled
Fire
Pail

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Your honor, why would anyone in their right mind park in the passing lane?
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I'm so hyper. (said with a very dull voice>
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To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism to steal from many is research.
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I saw a bank that said '24 Hour Banking,' but I don't have that much time.
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I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world... perhaps you've seen it.
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The other day I ... no wait, that wasn't me.
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My grandfather gave me a watch. It doesn't have any hands or numbers. He says it's very accurate. I asked him what time it was. You can guess what he told me.
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When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?
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When I was a fetus, I used to sneak out at night when my mother was sleeping. I figured I should start stealing stuff while I still had no fingerprints.
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The lady across the hall tried to rob a department store . . . with a pricing gun. She said, Give me all of the money in the vault, or I'm marking down everything in the store.
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I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
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Does fuzzy logic tickle?
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I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy.
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I don't go off and sit down and try to write material, because then it's contrived and forced. I just live my life, and I see things in a word or a situation or a concept, and it will create a joke for me.
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