Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
I like to go to art museums and name the untitled paintings... Boy With Pail... Kitten On Fire.
Steven Wright
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Name
Untitled
Fire
Pail
Names
Kitten
Funny
Paintings
Art
Museums
Like
Painting
Humor
Boys
More quotes by Steven Wright
I have not lost my mind - it's backed up on disk somewhere.
Steven Wright
Snakes have no arms. That's why they don't wear vests.
Steven Wright
always remember your unique, just like everone else
Steven Wright
Tinsel is really snakes' mirrors.
Steven Wright
Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
Steven Wright
When I was a fetus, I used to sneak out at night when my mother was sleeping. I figured I should start stealing stuff while I still had no fingerprints.
Steven Wright
I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.
Steven Wright
I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world... perhaps you've seen it.
Steven Wright
I couldn't find the remote control to the remote control.
Steven Wright
They say we're 98% water. We're that close to drowning. I like to live on the edge.
Steven Wright
I’m a psychic amnesiac. I know in advance what I’ll forget.
Steven Wright
If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?
Steven Wright
When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?
Steven Wright
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
Steven Wright
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Steven Wright
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Steven Wright
I feel lucky that I can have people laugh solidly for a whole hour by just saying what I think and getting paid for it.
Steven Wright
I took a course in speed waiting. Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.
Steven Wright
Don't you hate when your hand falls asleep and you know it will be up all night.
Steven Wright
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism to steal from many is research.
Steven Wright