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If its tourist season, why cant we shoot them

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Humor
Funny
Tourist
Tourists
Cant
Shoot
Season
Seasons

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I live at the end of a dead end one way street. I don't know how I got there.
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I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
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Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
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When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventually.
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If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
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When I was a kid I had a friend who worked in a radio station. Whenever we walked under a bridge, you couldn't hear what he said.
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I went to San Francisco. I found someone’s heart.
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Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
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Only one in four jokes ever works, and I still can't predict what people will laugh at.
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I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it.
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All of the people in my building are insane. The guy above me designs synthetic hairballs for ceramic cats.
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At one point he decided enough was enough.
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Imagine Pulitzer prizefighting.
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I took a baby shower.
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Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
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If heat rises, then heaven must be hotter than hell
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My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.
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My friend Sam has one leg. I went to his house. I couldn't go up the stairs.
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