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I have not lost my mind - it's backed up on disk somewhere.

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Mind
Disk
Backed
Madness
Somewhere
Lost

More quotes by Steven Wright

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When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventually.
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Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?
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The sky already fell. Now what?
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It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature.
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If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
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I had a dream that all the babies prevented by the pill showed up. They were mad.
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When I was a kid I had a friend who worked in a radio station. Whenever we walked under a bridge, you couldn't hear what he said.
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On the other hand, you have different fingers.
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I told her I knew when I was going to die because my birth certificate had an expiration date on it.
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I put a new engine in my car, but forgot to take the old one out. Now my car goes 500 miles per hour. The harmonica sounds amazing.
Steven Wright
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I saw a want ad. light housekeeping. They said Here, change this bulb. I said I'll need some friends.
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I had just received my degree in Calcium Anthropology... the study of milkmen.
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I think God's going to come down and pull civilization over for speeding.
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One day a guy tried to rob me on the street, and I had no money. So I charged him.
Steven Wright
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I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side.
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I got this powdered water - now I don't know what to add.
Steven Wright
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I washed a sock. Then I put it in the dryer. When I took it out, it was gone.
Steven Wright
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I thought I would be a guy on the radio.
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I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wake-up letter.
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I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn't have to go so fast.
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