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I have not lost my mind - it's backed up on disk somewhere.

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Disk
Backed
Madness
Somewhere
Lost
Mind

More quotes by Steven Wright

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I thought I would be a guy on the radio.
Steven Wright
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If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?
Steven Wright
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Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
Steven Wright
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At one point he decided enough was enough.
Steven Wright
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If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?
Steven Wright
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Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
Steven Wright
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I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world... perhaps you've seen it.
Steven Wright
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I eat swiss cheese. But I only nibble on it. I make the holes bigger.
Steven Wright
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In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number.
Steven Wright
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It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.
Steven Wright
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If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
Steven Wright
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I wrote a song, but I can't read music so I don't know what it is. Every once in a while I'll be listening to the radio and I say, I think I might have written that.
Steven Wright
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I have a map of the United States... Actual size. It says, 'Scale: 1 mile = 1 mile.' I spent last summer folding it. I hardly ever unroll it. People ask me where I live, and I say, 'E6.
Steven Wright
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Real life? Well, I just hope mine isn't investigated. They might find that I don't really exist - that I'm just a hologram.
Steven Wright
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I got a chain letter by fax. It's very simple. You just fax a dollar bill to everybody on the list.
Steven Wright
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Did you sleep well? No, I made a couple of mistakes.
Steven Wright
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What a nice night for an evening.
Steven Wright
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I can't stop thinking like this.
Steven Wright
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It's a fine night to have an evening.
Steven Wright
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When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventually.
Steven Wright