Quote

I have not lost my mind - it's backed up on disk somewhere.

Steven Wright

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Backed
Madness
Somewhere
Lost
Mind
Disk

More quotes by Steven Wright

Image
I got pulled over by a cop, and he said, 'do you know the speed limit here is 55 miles per hour?'. So I said, 'oh, that's OK, I'm not going that far.'
Steven Wright
Image
Do fish get cramps after eating?
Steven Wright
Image
Whatever happened to preparations A through G?
Steven Wright
Image
I forgot and left the lighthouse on all night. Next day the sun wouldn't rise.
Steven Wright
Image
I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates.
Steven Wright
Image
I bought some powdered water, but I don’t know what to add.
Steven Wright
Image
If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?
Steven Wright
Image
I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side.
Steven Wright
Image
I think God's going to come down and pull civilization over for speeding.
Steven Wright
Image
I have a map of the united states .... it's original size ... it says one mile equals one mile.
Steven Wright
Image
I was arrested for lip-syncing karaoke.
Steven Wright
Image
I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums.
Steven Wright
Image
I feel very lucky to make a living from my imagination I'm very grateful for that. I like that what I do is create. I'm feeling very lucky to have had the career I had. It's gone much longer and bigger than I ever thought it would be.
Steven Wright
Image
George is a radio announcer, and when he walks under a bridge... you can't hear him talk.
Steven Wright
Image
It's a fine night to have an evening.
Steven Wright
Image
They say we're 98% water. We're that close to drowning. I like to live on the edge.
Steven Wright
Image
If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?
Steven Wright
Image
I kept a diary right after I was born. Day 1: Tired from the move. Day 2: Everyone thinks I'm an idiot.
Steven Wright
Image
I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
Steven Wright
Image
Does fuzzy logic tickle?
Steven Wright