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If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet?

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Swim
Getting
Inspirational
Without
Melt
Wet
Dry
Ice

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My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.
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I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates.
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Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
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I wrote a song, but I can't read music so I don't know what it is. Every once in a while I'll be listening to the radio and I say, I think I might have written that.
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Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
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Consciousness: That annoying time between naps
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I told her I knew when I was going to die because my birth certificate had an expiration date on it.
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My girlfriend's weird. One day she asked me, 'If you could know how and when you were going to die, would you want to know?' I said, 'No.' She said, 'Okay, forget it.
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I was watching the Superbowl with my 92 year old grandfather. The team scored a touchdown. They showed the instant replay. He thought they scored another one. I was gonna tell him, but I figured the game HE was watching was better.
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I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'
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My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.
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I have a fax machine with fax waiting.
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There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators.
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I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it's like a circus in my head.
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My house is made out of balsa wood, so when I want to scare the neighborhood kids I lift it over my head and tell them to get out of my yard or I'll throw it at them.
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I saw a sign: Rest Area 25 Miles. That's pretty big. Some people must be really tired.
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It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature.
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I'm not naked, I'm in the band.
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George Carlin's album, 'Class Clown,' came out when I was in high school. I memorized a lot of that album. I'd come home from school, put it on, and listen over and over. I started memorizing it. I don't even know why. I loved it so much I memorized it.
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I paint I draw and paint - I've been doing that since I was in third grade, drawing realistically and then changing to abstract art. That was my first creative thing before guitar or comedy.
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