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A fool and his money are soon partying.

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Soon
Adages
Fool
Aircraft
Humor
Cliche
Party
Foolishness
Funny
Taxation
Money
Aviation
Airborne
Italian
Partying
Foolish
Helicopters

More quotes by Steven Wright

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Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen.
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If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
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Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
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I couldn't find the remote control to the remote control.
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Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
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Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don't have film.
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What do batteries run on?
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If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?
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I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates.
Steven Wright
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The sky already fell. Now what?
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The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing.
Steven Wright
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I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy.
Steven Wright
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I don't feel that I'm explaining the world or teaching people anything. And I'm not trying to be a mirror, showing them what's really going on the world. All I'm trying to do is think of stuff that's funny, just like when I'm kidding around with my friends.
Steven Wright
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I washed mud off of mud.
Steven Wright
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If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
Steven Wright
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Your honor, why would anyone in their right mind park in the passing lane?
Steven Wright
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Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
Steven Wright
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I wish, when I was first born, the first thing I said was Quote so the last thing I said before I died would be Unquote.
Steven Wright
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I had a dream that all the babies prevented by the pill showed up. They were mad.
Steven Wright
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I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
Steven Wright