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Why do banks charge you a non-sufficient funds fee on money they already know you don't have?
Steven Wright
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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Charge
Fund
Sufficient
Humor
Already
Funny
Fees
Money
Funds
Banks
More quotes by Steven Wright
I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world... perhaps you've seen it.
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It's a fine night to have an evening.
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Sometimes I wish my first word was 'quote,' so that on my death bed, my last words could be 'end quote.'
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If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?
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I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out.
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Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.
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I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it.
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Be nice to your children. After all, they are going to choose your nursing home.
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I saw a vegetarian wearing a furry coat. so I looked closer. it was made of grass.
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When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask if I'm leaving.
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I have two pairs of reading glasses. One pair is for reading fiction, the other for non-fiction. I've read the Bible twice wearing each pair, and it's the same.
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I had my coat hangers spayed.
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I have a paper cut from writing my suicide note. It's a start.
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I washed a sock. Then I put it in the dryer. When I took it out, it was gone.
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The things I talk about and explain couldn't happen - yet, they don't seem impossible - you could say I talk about the world in an abstract perspective. But then, the world is basically insane - and it's trying to pass itself off as being a sane place. I show it for what it is.
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I met this wonderful girl at Macy's. She was buying clothes and I was putting Slinkies on the escalator.
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Imagine Pulitzer prizefighting.
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I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window.
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When I was ten, my pa told me never to talk to strangers. We haven't spoken since.
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Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen.
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