Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
Why do banks charge you a non-sufficient funds fee on money they already know you don't have?
Steven Wright
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Charge
Fund
Sufficient
Humor
Already
Funny
Fees
Money
Funds
Banks
More quotes by Steven Wright
I live at the end of a dead end one way street. I don't know how I got there.
Steven Wright
How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t live there?
Steven Wright
I bought a house on a one-way dead-end road. I don’t know how I got there.
Steven Wright
I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took it to the gift wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping.
Steven Wright
When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventually.
Steven Wright
Even snakes are afraid of snakes.
Steven Wright
Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, Do I know you?
Steven Wright
Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
Steven Wright
If I ever had twins, I'd use one for parts.
Steven Wright
I think God's going to come down and pull civilization over for speeding.
Steven Wright
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
Steven Wright
I had amnesia once or twice.
Steven Wright
I don't feel that I'm explaining the world or teaching people anything. And I'm not trying to be a mirror, showing them what's really going on the world. All I'm trying to do is think of stuff that's funny, just like when I'm kidding around with my friends.
Steven Wright
I met this wonderful girl at Macy's. She was buying clothes and I was putting Slinkies on the escalator.
Steven Wright
Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn shop?
Steven Wright
I was watching the Superbowl with my 92 year old grandfather. The team scored a touchdown. They showed the instant replay. He thought they scored another one. I was gonna tell him, but I figured the game HE was watching was better.
Steven Wright
I'm not naked, I'm in the band.
Steven Wright
Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not a door?
Steven Wright
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
Steven Wright
You know the old joke, I went to the fights and a hockey game broke out.
Steven Wright
