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Why do banks charge you a non-sufficient funds fee on money they already know you don't have?
Steven Wright
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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Charge
Fund
Sufficient
Humor
Already
Funny
Fees
Money
Funds
Banks
More quotes by Steven Wright
In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above... so I never have to go upstairs.
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I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy.
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To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism to steal from many is research.
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They say you're not supposed to put metal in a microwave oven. They're right.
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Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not a door?
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I had a dream that all the babies prevented by the pill showed up. They were mad.
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Doing stand-up is like running across a frozen pond with the ice breaking behind you. I love it because it's dangerous.
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I once locked my keys out of my car. I had to break out of my car with a coat hanger.
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I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wake-up letter.
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For my sister's 50th birthday, I sent her a singing mammogram.
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I didn't tell any of my friends that I wanted to be a comedian, because I was superstitious. I thought if I told people, it wouldn't happen. So I kept it all in my head for years and years.
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I wear a hat on stage so that people won't be blinded by the reflection from my head. Also, if I don't wear a hat, there's no way that the hat can be at that level by itself on the stage.
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Five out of four people have trouble with fractions.
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I live at the end of a dead end one way street. I don't know how I got there.
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I kept a diary right after I was born. Day 1: Tired from the move. Day 2: Everyone thinks I'm an idiot.
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If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?
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If heat rises, then heaven must be hotter than hell
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I wear my heart on my sleeve. I wear my liver on my pant leg.
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Do you have any toy train schedules?
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Your honor, why would anyone in their right mind park in the passing lane?
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