Quote

If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Make
Forests
Trees
Humor
Tree
Fun
Funny
Fall
Forest
Around
Falls

More quotes by Steven Wright

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I've been thinking of humorous things since I was... I can't remember when. All the way through elementary school, all the way through junior high, all the way through high school, through college and after college, I was thinking of the same kinds of things that I say in front of an audience now.
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What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
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My friend Sam has one leg. I went to his house. I couldn't go up the stairs.
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Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, Do I know you?
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I am writing a book. So far I have the pages numbered.
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Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby and say 'What are you doing here? You haven't worked a day in your life!'
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I saw a vegetarian wearing a furry coat. so I looked closer. it was made of grass.
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They say we're 98% water. We're that close to drowning. I like to live on the edge.
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I have two pairs of reading glasses. One pair is for reading fiction, the other for non-fiction. I've read the Bible twice wearing each pair, and it's the same.
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I told her I knew when I was going to die because my birth certificate had an expiration date on it.
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Officer, I know I was going faster than 55MPH, but I wasn't going to be on the road an hour.
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I went to this restaurant last night that was set up like a big buffet in the shape of an Ouija board. You'd think about what kind of food you want, and the table would move across the floor to it.
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Do fish get cramps after eating?
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If heat rises, then heaven must be hotter than hell
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Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
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I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates.
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My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.
Steven Wright
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It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.
Steven Wright
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Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read.
Steven Wright
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George Carlin's album, 'Class Clown,' came out when I was in high school. I memorized a lot of that album. I'd come home from school, put it on, and listen over and over. I started memorizing it. I don't even know why. I loved it so much I memorized it.
Steven Wright