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If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?
Steven Wright
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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Tree
Fun
Funny
Fall
Forest
Around
Falls
Make
Forests
Trees
Humor
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It's a fine night to have an evening.
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I had my coat hangers spayed.
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I've been thinking of humorous things since I was... I can't remember when. All the way through elementary school, all the way through junior high, all the way through high school, through college and after college, I was thinking of the same kinds of things that I say in front of an audience now.
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Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?
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I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world... perhaps you've seen it.
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All of the people in my building are insane. The guy above me designs synthetic hairballs for ceramic cats.
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When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?
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I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took it to the gift wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping.
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I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy.
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Why are there five syllables in the word “monosyllabic”?
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Women... can't live with 'em...... can't shoot 'em
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My girlfriend does her nails with white-out. When she's asleep, I go over there and write misspelled words on them.
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