Quote

Everything is within walking distance, as long as you have time.

Steven Wright

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Time
Distance
Walking
Within
Everything
Long

More quotes by Steven Wright

Image
I think God's going to come down and pull civilization over for speeding.
Steven Wright
Image
I bought some powdered water, but I don’t know what to add.
Steven Wright
Image
I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed-reading accident. I hit a bookmark.
Steven Wright
Image
Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, Do I know you?
Steven Wright
Image
I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums.
Steven Wright
Image
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
Steven Wright
Image
I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took it to the gift wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping.
Steven Wright
Image
Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
Steven Wright
Image
The sun got confused about daylight savings time. It rose twice. Everything had two shadows.
Steven Wright
Image
OK, so what's the speed of dark?
Steven Wright
Image
Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don't have film.
Steven Wright
Image
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
Steven Wright
Image
Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not a door?
Steven Wright
Image
Whatever happened to preparations A through G?
Steven Wright
Image
If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
Steven Wright
Image
The other day, I was walking my dog around my building . . . on the ledge. Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
Steven Wright
Image
I like to reminisce with people I don't know.
Steven Wright
Image
I'm addicted to placebos. I could quit, but it wouldn't matter.
Steven Wright
Image
The sky already fell. Now what?
Steven Wright
Image
George Carlin's album, 'Class Clown,' came out when I was in high school. I memorized a lot of that album. I'd come home from school, put it on, and listen over and over. I started memorizing it. I don't even know why. I loved it so much I memorized it.
Steven Wright