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Black holes result from God dividing the universe by zero.
Steven Wright
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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Math
Mathematics
Result
Results
Universe
Dividing
Black
Zero
Holes
Mathematical
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Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
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George is a radio announcer, and when he walks under a bridge... you can't hear him talk.
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I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose.
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I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said, 'What for?' I said, 'I'm going to buy some sugar.'
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In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above... so I never have to go upstairs.
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I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wake-up letter.
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Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
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You know those things that you throw the twigs into and it spits them out? That's what I do. The branches are like life, and I throw them into my head and some of it comes out as humor.
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There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators.
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If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
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I have a paper cut from writing my suicide note. It's a start.
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I have a fax machine with fax waiting.
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I washed a sock. Then I put it in the dryer. When I took it out, it was gone.
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My grandfather gave me a watch. It doesn't have any hands or numbers. He says it's very accurate. I asked him what time it was. You can guess what he told me.
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I have two pairs of reading glasses. One pair is for reading fiction, the other for non-fiction. I've read the Bible twice wearing each pair, and it's the same.
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My school colors were clear. We used to say, 'I'm not naked, I'm in the band.
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If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
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