Quote

I am writing a book. So far I have the pages numbered.

Steven Wright

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Numbered
Pages
Success
Book
Writing

More quotes by Steven Wright

Image
My school colors were clear. We used to say, 'I'm not naked, I'm in the band.
Steven Wright
Image
If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
Steven Wright
Image
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
Steven Wright
Image
Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery's dead?
Steven Wright
Image
The other day, I was walking my dog around my building . . . on the ledge. Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
Steven Wright
Image
Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone...when I came back the entire area was missing.
Steven Wright
Image
Officer, I know I was going faster than 55MPH, but I wasn't going to be on the road an hour.
Steven Wright
Image
Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, Do I know you?
Steven Wright
Image
I have a fax machine with fax waiting.
Steven Wright
Image
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps
Steven Wright
Image
I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.
Steven Wright
Image
If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?
Steven Wright
Image
Real life? Well, I just hope mine isn't investigated. They might find that I don't really exist - that I'm just a hologram.
Steven Wright
Image
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
Steven Wright
Image
My friend Sam has one leg. I went to his house. I couldn't go up the stairs.
Steven Wright
Image
If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.
Steven Wright
Image
I don't feel that I'm explaining the world or teaching people anything. And I'm not trying to be a mirror, showing them what's really going on the world. All I'm trying to do is think of stuff that's funny, just like when I'm kidding around with my friends.
Steven Wright
Image
When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes.'
Steven Wright
Image
If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
Steven Wright
Image
Do fish get cramps after eating?
Steven Wright