Quote

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

Steven Wright

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Hurt
Feel
Feels
Good
Sarcastic
Hurts
Parts
Conscience

More quotes by Steven Wright

Image
I paint I draw and paint - I've been doing that since I was in third grade, drawing realistically and then changing to abstract art. That was my first creative thing before guitar or comedy.
Steven Wright
Image
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
Steven Wright
Image
If you are killing time, are you damaging eternity?
Steven Wright
Image
I was arrested for lip-syncing karaoke.
Steven Wright
Image
Why do banks charge you a non-sufficient funds fee on money they already know you don't have?
Steven Wright
Image
What do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?
Steven Wright
Image
I once locked my keys out of my car. I had to break out of my car with a coat hanger.
Steven Wright
Image
I was always making my friends laugh but I never wanted the attention of the whole classroom.
Steven Wright
Image
The sign said eight items or less. So I changed my name to Les.
Steven Wright
Image
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
Steven Wright
Image
Snakes have no arms. That's why they don't wear vests.
Steven Wright
Image
George is a radio announcer, and when he walks under a bridge... you can't hear him talk.
Steven Wright
Image
Does fuzzy logic tickle?
Steven Wright
Image
Four years ago... no, it was yesterday.
Steven Wright
Image
The other day, I was walking my dog around my building . . . on the ledge. Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
Steven Wright
Image
Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
Steven Wright
Image
I bought a house on a one-way dead-end road. I don’t know how I got there.
Steven Wright
Image
Imagine how weird phones would look if your mouth was nowhere near your ears.
Steven Wright
Image
I’m so tired... I was up all night trying to round off infinity.
Steven Wright
Image
The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing.
Steven Wright