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A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Conscience
Hurt
Feel
Feels
Good
Sarcastic
Hurts
Parts

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I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it's like a circus in my head.
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When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?
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OK, so what's the speed of dark?
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Doing stand-up is like running across a frozen pond with the ice breaking behind you. I love it because it's dangerous.
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Hermits have no peer pressure.
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If you are killing time, are you damaging eternity?
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In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above... so I never have to go upstairs.
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If God dropped acid, would he see people?
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I brought a mirror to Lovers' Lane. I told everybody I'm Narcissus.
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I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.
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I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out.
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I made a chocolate cake with white chocolate. Then I took it to a potluck. I stood in line for some cake. They said, Do you want white cake or chocolate cake? I said, yes.
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Is it weird in here, or is it just me?
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I'm kinda tired. I was up all night trying to round off infinity. Then I got bored and went out and painted passing lines on curved roads.
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