Quote

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

Steven Wright

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Conscience
Hurt
Feel
Feels
Good
Sarcastic
Hurts
Parts

More quotes by Steven Wright

Image
I am writing a book. So far I have the pages numbered.
Steven Wright
Image
How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t live there?
Steven Wright
Image
George is a radio announcer, and when he walks under a bridge... you can't hear him talk.
Steven Wright
Image
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
Steven Wright
Image
I saw a bank that said '24 Hour Banking,' but I don't have that much time.
Steven Wright
Image
I saw a want ad. light housekeeping. They said Here, change this bulb. I said I'll need some friends.
Steven Wright
Image
I kept a diary right after I was born. Day 1: Tired from the move. Day 2: Everyone thinks I'm an idiot.
Steven Wright
Image
I wrote a song, but I can't read music so I don't know what it is. Every once in a while I'll be listening to the radio and I say, I think I might have written that.
Steven Wright
Image
When I was a kid I had a friend who worked in a radio station. Whenever we walked under a bridge, you couldn't hear what he said.
Steven Wright
Image
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
Steven Wright
Image
I’m a psychic amnesiac. I know in advance what I’ll forget.
Steven Wright
Image
I had a dream that all the babies prevented by the pill showed up. They were mad.
Steven Wright
Image
A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space. On the back it said, 'Wish you were here.
Steven Wright
Image
Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
Steven Wright
Image
I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it's like a circus in my head.
Steven Wright
Image
I turned my air conditioner the other way around and it got cold out. The weatherman said 'I don't understand it. It was supposed to be 80 degrees out today.' I said, oops
Steven Wright
Image
I was always making my friends laugh but I never wanted the attention of the whole classroom.
Steven Wright
Image
Whatever happened to preparations A through G?
Steven Wright
Image
Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?
Steven Wright
Image
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
Steven Wright