Quote

Your honor, why would anyone in their right mind park in the passing lane?

Steven Wright

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Would
Park
Parks
Passings
Passing
Honor
Anyone
Right
Lane
Mind
Lanes

More quotes by Steven Wright

Image
I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it.
Steven Wright
Image
Even snakes are afraid of snakes.
Steven Wright
Image
If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?
Steven Wright
Image
It was the first time I was ever in love, and I learned a lot. Before that I'd never even thought about killing myself.
Steven Wright
Image
I recently went to the hardware store and I bought some used paint... it was in a shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. So I had to buy them again.
Steven Wright
Image
I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'
Steven Wright
Image
My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments.
Steven Wright
Image
Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery's dead?
Steven Wright
Image
I need one of those baby monitors from my subconscious to my consciousness so I can know what the hell I'm really thinking about.
Steven Wright
Image
I washed mud off of mud.
Steven Wright
Image
Black holes result from God dividing the universe by zero.
Steven Wright
Image
Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don't have film.
Steven Wright
Image
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
Steven Wright
Image
I had just received my degree in Calcium Anthropology... the study of milkmen.
Steven Wright
Image
Why are they called buildings when they’re already finished? Shouldn’t they be called builts?
Steven Wright
Image
In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above... so I never have to go upstairs.
Steven Wright
Image
When I was a kid, I went to the store and asked the guy, Do you have any toy train schedules?
Steven Wright
Image
The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing.
Steven Wright
Image
I got a chain letter by fax. It's very simple. You just fax a dollar bill to everybody on the list.
Steven Wright
Image
The sun never sets on the British Empire. But it rises every morning. The sky must get awfully crowded.
Steven Wright