Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
Even snakes are afraid of snakes.
Steven Wright
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Funny
Even
Snakes
Afraid
Humor
More quotes by Steven Wright
Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don't have film.
Steven Wright
Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
Steven Wright
For my sister's 50th birthday, I sent her a singing mammogram.
Steven Wright
I eat swiss cheese. But I only nibble on it. I make the holes bigger.
Steven Wright
I don't go off and sit down and try to write material, because then it's contrived and forced. I just live my life, and I see things in a word or a situation or a concept, and it will create a joke for me.
Steven Wright
I'm so hyper. (said with a very dull voice>
Steven Wright
A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space. On the back it said, 'Wish you were here.
Steven Wright
I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles.
Steven Wright
Imagine how weird phones would look if your mouth was nowhere near your ears.
Steven Wright
I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
Steven Wright
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
Steven Wright
Snakes have no arms. That's why they don't wear vests.
Steven Wright
I have a map of the united states .... it's original size ... it says one mile equals one mile.
Steven Wright
It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.
Steven Wright
I've been doing comedy longer than I haven't been doing comedy, as I was performing for three years before I even got on 'The Tonight Show.' There's truly nothing like it it's intense and exhilarating, even though it looks so casual.
Steven Wright
If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.
Steven Wright
I have a map of the United States... Actual size. It says, 'Scale: 1 mile = 1 mile.' I spent last summer folding it. I hardly ever unroll it. People ask me where I live, and I say, 'E6.
Steven Wright
Did you sleep well? No, I made a couple of mistakes.
Steven Wright
Very rarely do I talk off the top of my head on stage. I'm not an improv guy. I'm a writer-guy who presents what he's written.
Steven Wright
In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number.
Steven Wright