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Even snakes are afraid of snakes.

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Even
Snakes
Afraid
Humor
Funny

More quotes by Steven Wright

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If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
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always remember your unique, just like everone else
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Why do banks charge you a non-sufficient funds fee on money they already know you don't have?
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I had amnesia once or twice.
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Last year we drove across the country...We had one cassette tape to listen to on the entire trip... I don't remember what it was.
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I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
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Whose cruel idea was it for the word “lisp” to have an “s” in it?
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I wear a hat on stage so that people won't be blinded by the reflection from my head. Also, if I don't wear a hat, there's no way that the hat can be at that level by itself on the stage.
Steven Wright
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In hindsight, I realized I could see into the future. Which is kind of like having premonitions of flashbacks.
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I can't stop thinking like this.
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I’m so tired... I was up all night trying to round off infinity.
Steven Wright
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If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
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I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
Steven Wright
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I saw a sign at a gas station. It said 'help wanted'. There was another sign below it that said 'self service'. So I hired myself. Then I made myself the boss. I gave myself a raise. I paid myself. Then I quit.
Steven Wright
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Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read.
Steven Wright
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I have not lost my mind - it's backed up on disk somewhere.
Steven Wright
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I like to go to art museums and name the untitled paintings... Boy With Pail... Kitten On Fire.
Steven Wright
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I thought I would be a guy on the radio.
Steven Wright
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My friend Sam has one leg. I went to his house. I couldn't go up the stairs.
Steven Wright
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A fool and his money are soon partying.
Steven Wright