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I'm not naked, I'm in the band.

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Naked
Band

More quotes by Steven Wright

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What do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?
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I Xeroxed a mirror. Now I have an extra Xerox machine.
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If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
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Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
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Tinsel is really snakes' mirrors.
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If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
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I got a chain letter by fax. It's very simple. You just fax a dollar bill to everybody on the list.
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I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don’t know what to feed it.
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I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
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I need one of those baby monitors from my subconscious to my consciousness so I can know what the hell I'm really thinking about.
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A fool and his money are soon partying.
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I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.
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When I was a kid, I never did funny things to get attention. I was never a funny person. I was never, like, 'Oh, wow. I could say this some day on stage.'
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I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side.
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Does fuzzy logic tickle?
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How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t live there?
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Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don't have film.
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Four years ago... no, it was yesterday.
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I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn't have to go so fast.
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I washed mud off of mud.
Steven Wright