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I'm not naked, I'm in the band.
Steven Wright
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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Naked
Band
More quotes by Steven Wright
Five out of four people have trouble with fractions.
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I have a map of the united states .... it's original size ... it says one mile equals one mile.
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I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
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The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
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George is a radio announcer, and when he walks under a bridge... you can't hear him talk.
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I rented a lottery ticket. I won a million dollars. But I had to give it back.
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I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it.
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Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
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I have a fax machine with fax waiting.
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When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect then they told me nobody’s perfect so I stopped practicing.
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Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
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Tinsel is really snakes' mirrors.
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Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.
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I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it's like a circus in my head.
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Snakes have no arms. That's why they don't wear vests.
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Even snakes are afraid of snakes.
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Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen.
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Is it possible to be totally partial?
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I paint I draw and paint - I've been doing that since I was in third grade, drawing realistically and then changing to abstract art. That was my first creative thing before guitar or comedy.
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Is 'tired old cliché' one?
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