Quote

I saw a sign at a gas station. It said 'help wanted'. There was another sign below it that said 'self service'. So I hired myself. Then I made myself the boss. I gave myself a raise. I paid myself. Then I quit.

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Help
Quitting
Opportunity
Raise
Helping
Sign
Hired
Another
Raises
Station
Wanted
Service
Gas
Self
Paid
Stations
Work
Gave
Quit
Made
Saws
Boss

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If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?
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I had my coat hangers spayed.
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Sometimes I wish my first word was 'quote,' so that on my death bed, my last words could be 'end quote.'
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Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
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I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
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I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn't have to go so fast.
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I like to reminisce with people I don't know.
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