Quote

I wrote a song, but I can't read music so I don't know what it is. Every once in a while I'll be listening to the radio and I say, I think I might have written that.

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Thinking
Written
Read
Funny
Song
Music
Wrote
Might
Radio
Every
Listening
Think
Humor

More quotes by Steven Wright

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Everything is within walking distance, as long as you have time.
Steven Wright
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I wish, when I was first born, the first thing I said was Quote so the last thing I said before I died would be Unquote.
Steven Wright
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I’m so tired... I was up all night trying to round off infinity.
Steven Wright
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When I have a kid, I want to buy one of those strollers for twins. Then put the kid in and run around, looking frantic. When he gets older, I'd tell him he used to have a brother, but he didn't obey.
Steven Wright
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I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it.
Steven Wright
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I collect rare photographs... I have two... One of Houdini locking his keys in his car... the other is a rare picture of Norman Rockwell beating up a child.
Steven Wright
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The sky is falling. No, I'm tipping over backwards.
Steven Wright
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At one point he decided enough was enough.
Steven Wright
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All of the people in my building are insane. The guy above me designs synthetic hairballs for ceramic cats.
Steven Wright
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People may think I'm trying something new by telling stories, but they're just jokes connected to give the illusion of stories. But really, I just continue using my imagination and creating. That's what I do.
Steven Wright
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I saw a man with a wooden leg and a real foot.
Steven Wright
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If God dropped acid, would he see people?
Steven Wright
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I feel lucky that I can have people laugh solidly for a whole hour by just saying what I think and getting paid for it.
Steven Wright
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In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number.
Steven Wright
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A friend of mine is into Voodoo Acupuncture. You don't have to go. You'll just be walking down the street and . . . ooooohhhhhh, that's much better.
Steven Wright
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I'm not naked, I'm in the band.
Steven Wright
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Imagine Pulitzer prizefighting.
Steven Wright
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I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
Steven Wright
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Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as '4's'?
Steven Wright
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Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
Steven Wright