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In hindsight, I realized I could see into the future. Which is kind of like having premonitions of flashbacks.

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Like
Premonitions
Flashback
Premonition
Hindsight
Insightful
Realized
Future
Kind

More quotes by Steven Wright

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It was the first time I was ever in love, and I learned a lot. Before that I'd never even thought about killing myself.
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How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t live there?
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I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.
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I'm kinda tired. I was up all night trying to round off infinity. Then I got bored and went out and painted passing lines on curved roads.
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I plugged my phone in where the blender used to be. I called someone. They went Aaaaahhhh...
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When I was a kid, I never did funny things to get attention. I was never a funny person. I was never, like, 'Oh, wow. I could say this some day on stage.'
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Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery's dead?
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Yesterday, my eyeglass prescription ran out.
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OK, so what's the speed of dark?
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I'm seeing the world partially through the eyes of a kid. Not all the time. There's no black and white to it. But sometimes I'm seeing it like I'm 4.
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I've been doing comedy longer than I haven't been doing comedy, as I was performing for three years before I even got on 'The Tonight Show.' There's truly nothing like it it's intense and exhilarating, even though it looks so casual.
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Is 'tired old cliché' one?
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I've never seen electricity, that's why I don't pay for it
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In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above... so I never have to go upstairs.
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People think my friend George is weird because he wears sideburns...behind his ears. I think he's weird because he wears false teeth...with braces on them.
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I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'
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I got this powdered water - now I don't know what to add.
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always remember your unique, just like everone else
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In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number.
Steven Wright
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Black holes result from God dividing the universe by zero.
Steven Wright