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In hindsight, I realized I could see into the future. Which is kind of like having premonitions of flashbacks.
Steven Wright
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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Flashback
Premonition
Hindsight
Insightful
Realized
Future
Kind
Like
Premonitions
More quotes by Steven Wright
Day One: Still tired from the move.
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When I have a kid, I want to buy one of those strollers for twins. Then put the kid in and run around, looking frantic. When he gets older, I'd tell him he used to have a brother, but he didn't obey.
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I saw a sign at a gas station. It said 'help wanted'. There was another sign below it that said 'self service'. So I hired myself. Then I made myself the boss. I gave myself a raise. I paid myself. Then I quit.
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I got an answering machine for my phone. . . . Now, when I'm not home and somebody calls me up . . . they hear a recording of a busy signal.
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I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it.
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Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
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If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
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Why, in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?
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Yesterday, my eyeglass prescription ran out.
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When I was ten, my pa told me never to talk to strangers. We haven't spoken since.
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I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side.
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I saw a man with a wooden leg and a real foot.
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If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
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I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
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I feel very lucky to make a living from my imagination I'm very grateful for that. I like that what I do is create. I'm feeling very lucky to have had the career I had. It's gone much longer and bigger than I ever thought it would be.
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I got a garage door opener. It can't close. Just open.
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I'm so hyper. (said with a very dull voice>
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I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.
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Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
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If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?
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