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In hindsight, I realized I could see into the future. Which is kind of like having premonitions of flashbacks.
Steven Wright
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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
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Premonitions
Flashback
Premonition
Hindsight
Insightful
Realized
Future
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More quotes by Steven Wright
I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took it to the gift wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping.
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When I was a kid, I never did funny things to get attention. I was never a funny person. I was never, like, 'Oh, wow. I could say this some day on stage.'
Steven Wright
George is a radio announcer, and when he walks under a bridge... you can't hear him talk.
Steven Wright
When I was a kid I had a friend who worked in a radio station. Whenever we walked under a bridge, you couldn't hear what he said.
Steven Wright
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
Steven Wright
I've been thinking of humorous things since I was... I can't remember when. All the way through elementary school, all the way through junior high, all the way through high school, through college and after college, I was thinking of the same kinds of things that I say in front of an audience now.
Steven Wright
I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
Steven Wright
I got this powdered water - now I don't know what to add.
Steven Wright
I've never seen electricity, that's why I don't pay for it
Steven Wright
My grandfather gave me a watch. It doesn't have any hands or numbers. He says it's very accurate. I asked him what time it was. You can guess what he told me.
Steven Wright
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
Steven Wright
Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don't have film.
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Even snakes are afraid of snakes.
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Does fuzzy logic tickle?
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I hate it when my leg falls asleep. I know that means it's going to be up all night.
Steven Wright
I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums.
Steven Wright
I'm seeing the world partially through the eyes of a kid. Not all the time. There's no black and white to it. But sometimes I'm seeing it like I'm 4.
Steven Wright
always remember your unique, just like everone else
Steven Wright
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
Steven Wright
Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
Steven Wright
