Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
When I was ten, my pa told me never to talk to strangers. We haven't spoken since.
Steven Wright
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Havens
Haven
Told
Since
Talk
Strangers
Father
Spoken
Never
Stranger
Ten
More quotes by Steven Wright
If you are killing time, are you damaging eternity?
Steven Wright
I saw a bank that said '24 Hour Banking,' but I don't have that much time.
Steven Wright
If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
Steven Wright
Snakes have no arms. That's why they don't wear vests.
Steven Wright
Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don't have film.
Steven Wright
Whatever happened to preparations A through G?
Steven Wright
I bought a house on a one-way dead-end road. I don’t know how I got there.
Steven Wright
Five out of four people have trouble with fractions.
Steven Wright
I've been doing comedy longer than I haven't been doing comedy, as I was performing for three years before I even got on 'The Tonight Show.' There's truly nothing like it it's intense and exhilarating, even though it looks so casual.
Steven Wright
I had amnesia once or twice.
Steven Wright
I got an answering machine for my phone. . . . Now, when I'm not home and somebody calls me up . . . they hear a recording of a busy signal.
Steven Wright
If God dropped acid, would he see people?
Steven Wright
You know the old joke, I went to the fights and a hockey game broke out.
Steven Wright
My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.
Steven Wright
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
Steven Wright
Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
Steven Wright
I went camping and borrowed a circus tent by mistake. I didn't notice until I got it set up. People complained because they couldn't see the lake.
Steven Wright
My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.
Steven Wright
It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.
Steven Wright
I'm not naked, I'm in the band.
Steven Wright
