Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
The other day, I was walking my dog around my building . . . on the ledge. Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
Steven Wright
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Height
Dog
Walking
Afraid
Building
Ledge
Around
Ledges
People
Width
Heights
More quotes by Steven Wright
Babies don't need a vacation. But I still see them at the beach. It pisses me off.
Steven Wright
You know the old joke, I went to the fights and a hockey game broke out.
Steven Wright
I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums.
Steven Wright
Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
Steven Wright
I'm used to seeing it, but it's weird having an Academy Award. You usually only see one of them on the TV show when they give them out, so it's kind of surreal to have one in your house.
Steven Wright
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
Steven Wright
I once tried to commit suicide by jumping off a building...I changed my mind at the last minute, so I just flipped over and landed on my feet. Two little kittens nearby saw what happened and one turns to the other and says, See, that's how it's done.
Steven Wright
I had a dream that all the babies prevented by the pill showed up. They were mad.
Steven Wright
Do fish get cramps after eating?
Steven Wright
After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting out of the water?
Steven Wright
Four years ago... no, it was yesterday.
Steven Wright
If you are killing time, are you damaging eternity?
Steven Wright
All of the people in my building are insane. The guy above me designs synthetic hairballs for ceramic cats.
Steven Wright
I feel lucky that I can have people laugh solidly for a whole hour by just saying what I think and getting paid for it.
Steven Wright
Does fuzzy logic tickle?
Steven Wright
I had amnesia once or twice.
Steven Wright
The best kind of friend is the kind you sit with, never say a word and walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you ever had.
Steven Wright
I like to go to art museums and name the untitled paintings... Boy With Pail... Kitten On Fire.
Steven Wright
Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read.
Steven Wright
If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
Steven Wright