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I saw a sign: Rest Area 25 Miles. That's pretty big. Some people must be really tired.

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Rest
Pretty
Bigs
Area
Must
Sign
Really
Miles
People
Areas
Tired
Saws

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Babies don't need a vacation. But I still see them at the beach. It pisses me off.
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I got a new dog. He's a paranoid retriever. He brings back everything because he's not sure what I threw him.
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Don't you hate when your hand falls asleep and you know it will be up all night.
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I'm kinda tired. I was up all night trying to round off infinity. Then I got bored and went out and painted passing lines on curved roads.
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If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet?
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When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect then they told me nobody’s perfect so I stopped practicing.
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If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
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I got a garage door opener. It can't close. Just open.
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The lady across the hall tried to rob a department store . . . with a pricing gun. She said, Give me all of the money in the vault, or I'm marking down everything in the store.
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I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving.
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I liked school, but I used to dread those moments when the teacher would call me up to give an oral report. I forced myself to deal with it and not dwell on the class in front of me - to keep a straight face, give the report and concentrate on getting it right. That's normally how I perform. That's how I am.
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