Quote

I saw a sign: Rest Area 25 Miles. That's pretty big. Some people must be really tired.

Steven Wright

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Really
Miles
People
Areas
Tired
Saws
Rest
Pretty
Bigs
Area
Must
Sign

More quotes by Steven Wright

Image
One time the power went out in my house and I had to use the flash on my camera to see my way around. I made a sandwich and took fifty pictures of my face. The neighbors thought there was lightning in my house.
Steven Wright
Image
I wish, when I was first born, the first thing I said was Quote so the last thing I said before I died would be Unquote.
Steven Wright
Image
Your honor, why would anyone in their right mind park in the passing lane?
Steven Wright
Image
Doing stand-up is like running across a frozen pond with the ice breaking behind you. I love it because it's dangerous.
Steven Wright
Image
I changed my headlights the other day. I put in strobe lights instead! Now when I drive at night, it looks like everyone else is standing still.
Steven Wright
Image
I'm so hyper. (said with a very dull voice>
Steven Wright
Image
I'm not naked, I'm in the band.
Steven Wright
Image
Sometimes I wish my first word was 'quote,' so that on my death bed, my last words could be 'end quote.'
Steven Wright
Image
A friend of mine is into Voodoo Acupuncture. You don't have to go. You'll just be walking down the street and . . . ooooohhhhhh, that's much better.
Steven Wright
Image
Real life? Well, I just hope mine isn't investigated. They might find that I don't really exist - that I'm just a hologram.
Steven Wright
Image
I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
Steven Wright
Image
When I have a kid, I want to buy one of those strollers for twins. Then put the kid in and run around, looking frantic. When he gets older, I'd tell him he used to have a brother, but he didn't obey.
Steven Wright
Image
My friend Winnie is a procrastinator. He didn't get his birth mark til he was eight years old.
Steven Wright
Image
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
Steven Wright
Image
Very rarely do I talk off the top of my head on stage. I'm not an improv guy. I'm a writer-guy who presents what he's written.
Steven Wright
Image
I took a baby shower.
Steven Wright
Image
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
Steven Wright
Image
For my sister's 50th birthday, I sent her a singing mammogram.
Steven Wright
Image
I went to a general store but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific.
Steven Wright
Image
Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
Steven Wright