Quote

I saw a sign: Rest Area 25 Miles. That's pretty big. Some people must be really tired.

Steven Wright

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Really
Miles
People
Areas
Tired
Saws
Rest
Pretty
Bigs
Area
Must
Sign

More quotes by Steven Wright

Image
Do fish get cramps after eating?
Steven Wright
Image
I made a chocolate cake with white chocolate. Then I took it to a potluck. I stood in line for some cake. They said, Do you want white cake or chocolate cake? I said, yes.
Steven Wright
Image
I got a garage door opener. It can't close. Just open.
Steven Wright
Image
Four years ago... no, it was yesterday.
Steven Wright
Image
I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took it to the gift wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping.
Steven Wright
Image
When I was a kid, I never did funny things to get attention. I was never a funny person. I was never, like, 'Oh, wow. I could say this some day on stage.'
Steven Wright
Image
Why isn’t the word “phonetically” spelled with an “f”?
Steven Wright
Image
If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?
Steven Wright
Image
I thought I would be a guy on the radio.
Steven Wright
Image
I washed mud off of mud.
Steven Wright
Image
Imagine Pulitzer prizefighting.
Steven Wright
Image
If heat rises, then heaven must be hotter than hell
Steven Wright
Image
Black holes result from God dividing the universe by zero.
Steven Wright
Image
You know what scares me? When you have to be nice to some paranoid schizophrenic, just because she lives in your head.
Steven Wright
Image
I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn't have to go so fast.
Steven Wright
Image
Why, in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?
Steven Wright
Image
A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
Steven Wright
Image
If I ever had twins, I'd use one for parts.
Steven Wright
Image
always remember your unique, just like everone else
Steven Wright
Image
I'm addicted to placebos. I could quit, but it wouldn't matter.
Steven Wright