Quote

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles.

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Around
Circles
Littles
Cat
Little
Pictures
Contact
Dog
Took
Lenses
Eyes
Cats
Eye
Ran

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I've been doing comedy longer than I haven't been doing comedy, as I was performing for three years before I even got on 'The Tonight Show.' There's truly nothing like it it's intense and exhilarating, even though it looks so casual.
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I saw a sign: Rest Area 25 Miles. That's pretty big. Some people must be really tired.
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For my sister's 50th birthday, I sent her a singing mammogram.
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The other day I ... no wait, that wasn't me.
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Everything is within walking distance, as long as you have time.
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I have all the emotions that everyone has it just appears that I don't.
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I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn't have to go so fast.
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The best kind of friend is the kind you sit with, never say a word and walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you ever had.
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One day a guy tried to rob me on the street, and I had no money. So I charged him.
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Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
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