Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Steven Wright
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Positive
Coming
Wrong
Bumper
Success
Lane
Everything
Lanes
Way
Redneck
Life
Motivation
Leadership
More quotes by Steven Wright
I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out.
Steven Wright
I'm seeing the world partially through the eyes of a kid. Not all the time. There's no black and white to it. But sometimes I'm seeing it like I'm 4.
Steven Wright
Why is it lemon juice contains mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?
Steven Wright
I was always making my friends laugh but I never wanted the attention of the whole classroom.
Steven Wright
If I ever had twins, I'd use one for parts.
Steven Wright
I bought some powdered water, but I don’t know what to add.
Steven Wright
I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums.
Steven Wright
People may think I'm trying something new by telling stories, but they're just jokes connected to give the illusion of stories. But really, I just continue using my imagination and creating. That's what I do.
Steven Wright
I have not lost my mind - it's backed up on disk somewhere.
Steven Wright
I'm not naked, I'm in the band.
Steven Wright
It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature.
Steven Wright
I washed mud off of mud.
Steven Wright
You know how it is when you’re walking up the stairs, and you get to the top, and you think there’s one more step? I’m like that all the time.
Steven Wright
My act is an exaggeration of a part of me. I'm much more expressive off stage.
Steven Wright
I wear my heart on my sleeve. I wear my liver on my pant leg.
Steven Wright
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Steven Wright
I plugged my phone in where the blender used to be. I called someone. They went Aaaaahhhh...
Steven Wright
The sky already fell. Now what?
Steven Wright
My house is made out of balsa wood, so when I want to scare the neighborhood kids I lift it over my head and tell them to get out of my yard or I'll throw it at them.
Steven Wright
My girlfriend's weird. One day she asked me, 'If you could know how and when you were going to die, would you want to know?' I said, 'No.' She said, 'Okay, forget it.
Steven Wright