Quote

I've never seen electricity, that's why I don't pay for it

Steven Wright

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Energy
Home
Never
Electricity
Pay
Seen

More quotes by Steven Wright

Image
I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates.
Steven Wright
Image
Do fish get cramps after eating?
Steven Wright
Image
I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
Steven Wright
Image
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
Steven Wright
Image
Honestly, I just go to restaurants to eat so I won't die. If there was a pill I could take in January and then I wouldn't have to eat again for the rest of the year, I would take it. Of course, I wouldn't want to sacrifice my chocolate cake and ice cream.
Steven Wright
Image
People may think I'm trying something new by telling stories, but they're just jokes connected to give the illusion of stories. But really, I just continue using my imagination and creating. That's what I do.
Steven Wright
Image
Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
Steven Wright
Image
While I was gone, somebody rearranged on the furniture in my bedroom. They put it in exactly the same place it was. When I told my roommate, he said: Do I know you?
Steven Wright
Image
I have two pairs of reading glasses. One pair is for reading fiction, the other for non-fiction. I've read the Bible twice wearing each pair, and it's the same.
Steven Wright
Image
Whatever happened to preparations A through G?
Steven Wright
Image
If its tourist season, why cant we shoot them
Steven Wright
Image
Women... can't live with 'em...... can't shoot 'em
Steven Wright
Image
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
Steven Wright
Image
I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums.
Steven Wright
Image
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?
Steven Wright
Image
What do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?
Steven Wright
Image
If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?
Steven Wright
Image
I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'
Steven Wright
Image
If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
Steven Wright
Image
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
Steven Wright