Quote

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

Steven Wright

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Gets
Worms
Second
Mice
Humor
Cheese
Food
Witty
Funny
Humorous
Worm
Time
Jokes
Cheesy
Bird
Mouse
Early
Contradictory

More quotes by Steven Wright

Image
Having sex with her is incredible. It's just like a concert. We throw Frisbees around the room. And when she wants more she lights a match.
Steven Wright
Image
I bought a house on a one-way dead-end road. I don’t know how I got there.
Steven Wright
Image
I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
Steven Wright
Image
I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.
Steven Wright
Image
When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask if I'm leaving.
Steven Wright
Image
Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
Steven Wright
Image
If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?
Steven Wright
Image
I have all the emotions that everyone has it just appears that I don't.
Steven Wright
Image
There's something about being in front of a live audience that's fun. It's a really interesting, very electric, very alive, and intense experience, and you can't get it anywhere else. And I've been doing it since I was 23, so it's part of my being - it's part of my fabric as a person.
Steven Wright
Image
I got a chain letter by fax. It's very simple. You just fax a dollar bill to everybody on the list.
Steven Wright
Image
Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
Steven Wright
Image
I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it's like a circus in my head.
Steven Wright
Image
After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting out of the water?
Steven Wright
Image
For my sister's 50th birthday, I sent her a singing mammogram.
Steven Wright
Image
Is it possible to be totally partial?
Steven Wright
Image
Four years ago... no, it was yesterday.
Steven Wright
Image
What do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?
Steven Wright
Image
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?
Steven Wright
Image
I saw a sign: Rest Area 25 Miles. That's pretty big. Some people must be really tired.
Steven Wright
Image
The sun got confused about daylight savings time. It rose twice. Everything had two shadows.
Steven Wright