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To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism to steal from many is research.
Steven Wright
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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Humor
Funny
Persons
Plagiarism
Ideas
Steal
Person
Stealing
Many
Comedian
Humorous
Research
More quotes by Steven Wright
I have a map of the United States... Actual size. It says, 'Scale: 1 mile = 1 mile.' I spent last summer folding it. I hardly ever unroll it. People ask me where I live, and I say, 'E6.
Steven Wright
Whose cruel idea was it for the word “lisp” to have an “s” in it?
Steven Wright
I told her I knew when I was going to die because my birth certificate had an expiration date on it.
Steven Wright
I got a new shadow. I had to get rid of the other one – it wasn’t doing what I was doing.
Steven Wright
I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took it to the gift wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping.
Steven Wright
I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles.
Steven Wright
Officer, I know I was going faster than 55MPH, but I wasn't going to be on the road an hour.
Steven Wright
How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t live there?
Steven Wright
When I was a fetus, I used to sneak out at night when my mother was sleeping. I figured I should start stealing stuff while I still had no fingerprints.
Steven Wright
I had amnesia once or twice.
Steven Wright
Winny would spend all of his time practicing limbo. He got pretty good. He could go under a rug.
Steven Wright
I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world... perhaps you've seen it.
Steven Wright
I went to this restaurant last night that was set up like a big buffet in the shape of an Ouija board. You'd think about what kind of food you want, and the table would move across the floor to it.
Steven Wright
Babies don't need a vacation. But I still see them at the beach. It pisses me off.
Steven Wright
I feel very lucky to make a living from my imagination I'm very grateful for that. I like that what I do is create. I'm feeling very lucky to have had the career I had. It's gone much longer and bigger than I ever thought it would be.
Steven Wright
I’m so tired... I was up all night trying to round off infinity.
Steven Wright
I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates.
Steven Wright
Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
Steven Wright
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
Steven Wright
I saw a bank that said '24 Hour Banking,' but I don't have that much time.
Steven Wright
