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To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism to steal from many is research.
Steven Wright
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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Funny
Persons
Plagiarism
Steal
Ideas
Stealing
Person
Comedian
Many
Humorous
Research
Humor
More quotes by Steven Wright
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
Steven Wright
Don't you hate when your hand falls asleep and you know it will be up all night.
Steven Wright
I collect rare photographs... I have two... One of Houdini locking his keys in his car... the other is a rare picture of Norman Rockwell beating up a child.
Steven Wright
It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.
Steven Wright
Why do banks charge you a non-sufficient funds fee on money they already know you don't have?
Steven Wright
Is 'tired old cliché' one?
Steven Wright
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Steven Wright
Your honor, why would anyone in their right mind park in the passing lane?
Steven Wright
My grandfather gave me a watch. It doesn't have any hands or numbers. He says it's very accurate. I asked him what time it was. You can guess what he told me.
Steven Wright
I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said, 'What for?' I said, 'I'm going to buy some sugar.'
Steven Wright
I didn't tell any of my friends that I wanted to be a comedian, because I was superstitious. I thought if I told people, it wouldn't happen. So I kept it all in my head for years and years.
Steven Wright
I couldn't find the remote control to the remote control.
Steven Wright
Even snakes are afraid of snakes.
Steven Wright
I once tried to commit suicide by jumping off a building...I changed my mind at the last minute, so I just flipped over and landed on my feet. Two little kittens nearby saw what happened and one turns to the other and says, See, that's how it's done.
Steven Wright
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
Steven Wright
I washed mud off of mud.
Steven Wright
Does fuzzy logic tickle?
Steven Wright
It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature.
Steven Wright
I had a dream that all the babies prevented by the pill showed up. They were mad.
Steven Wright
I saw a want ad. light housekeeping. They said Here, change this bulb. I said I'll need some friends.
Steven Wright
