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To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism to steal from many is research.
Steven Wright
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Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Many
Comedian
Humorous
Research
Humor
Funny
Persons
Plagiarism
Ideas
Steal
Person
Stealing
More quotes by Steven Wright
The sun got confused about daylight savings time. It rose twice. Everything had two shadows.
Steven Wright
My neighbor has a circular driveway... he can't get out.
Steven Wright
I changed my headlights the other day. I put in strobe lights instead! Now when I drive at night, it looks like everyone else is standing still.
Steven Wright
Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read.
Steven Wright
If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
Steven Wright
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as '4's'?
Steven Wright
People think my friend George is weird because he wears sideburns...behind his ears. I think he's weird because he wears false teeth...with braces on them.
Steven Wright
Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.
Steven Wright
Day One: Still tired from the move.
Steven Wright
Is it weird in here, or is it just me?
Steven Wright
Winny would spend all of his time practicing limbo. He got pretty good. He could go under a rug.
Steven Wright
A fool and his money are soon partying.
Steven Wright
One day a guy tried to rob me on the street, and I had no money. So I charged him.
Steven Wright
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Steven Wright
I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles.
Steven Wright
I was arrested for lip-syncing karaoke.
Steven Wright
I took a course in speed waiting. Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.
Steven Wright
My friend Sam has one leg. I went to his house. I couldn't go up the stairs.
Steven Wright
When I was a fetus, I used to sneak out at night when my mother was sleeping. I figured I should start stealing stuff while I still had no fingerprints.
Steven Wright
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
Steven Wright
