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To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism to steal from many is research.
Steven Wright
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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Many
Comedian
Humorous
Research
Humor
Funny
Persons
Plagiarism
Ideas
Steal
Person
Stealing
More quotes by Steven Wright
When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?
Steven Wright
I've been doing comedy longer than I haven't been doing comedy, as I was performing for three years before I even got on 'The Tonight Show.' There's truly nothing like it it's intense and exhilarating, even though it looks so casual.
Steven Wright
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
Steven Wright
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as '4's'?
Steven Wright
When I was on TV in the '80s, I wasn't thinking, 'There's a 10-year-old kid watching this and in 15 years, he's gonna be doing stuff that was influenced by me.' I was trying to get my five minutes together. So now that those people are comedians and they're influenced by me - it's bizarre.
Steven Wright
I have all the emotions that everyone has it just appears that I don't.
Steven Wright
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
Steven Wright
When I was a kid, I went to the store and asked the guy, Do you have any toy train schedules?
Steven Wright
A friend of mine is into Voodoo Acupuncture. You don't have to go. You'll just be walking down the street and . . . ooooohhhhhh, that's much better.
Steven Wright
If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?
Steven Wright
I think God's going to come down and pull civilization over for speeding.
Steven Wright
I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'
Steven Wright
I recently went to the hardware store and I bought some used paint... it was in a shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. So I had to buy them again.
Steven Wright
I washed a sock. Then I put it in the dryer. When I took it out, it was gone.
Steven Wright
When I was a kid I had a friend who worked in a radio station. Whenever we walked under a bridge, you couldn't hear what he said.
Steven Wright
After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting out of the water?
Steven Wright
Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen.
Steven Wright
If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?
Steven Wright
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
Steven Wright
I was arrested for lip-syncing karaoke.
Steven Wright
