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To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism to steal from many is research.
Steven Wright
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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Research
Humor
Funny
Persons
Plagiarism
Ideas
Steal
Person
Stealing
Many
Comedian
Humorous
More quotes by Steven Wright
I bought some powdered water, but I don’t know what to add.
Steven Wright
Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.
Steven Wright
Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
Steven Wright
If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
Steven Wright
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
Steven Wright
George is a radio announcer, and when he walks under a bridge... you can't hear him talk.
Steven Wright
I was watching the Superbowl with my 92 year old grandfather. The team scored a touchdown. They showed the instant replay. He thought they scored another one. I was gonna tell him, but I figured the game HE was watching was better.
Steven Wright
Whose cruel idea was it for the word “lisp” to have an “s” in it?
Steven Wright
If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?
Steven Wright
I went camping and borrowed a circus tent by mistake. I didn't notice until I got it set up. People complained because they couldn't see the lake.
Steven Wright
I'm used to seeing it, but it's weird having an Academy Award. You usually only see one of them on the TV show when they give them out, so it's kind of surreal to have one in your house.
Steven Wright
Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, Do I know you?
Steven Wright
What do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?
Steven Wright
One day a guy tried to rob me on the street, and I had no money. So I charged him.
Steven Wright
I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
Steven Wright
I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.
Steven Wright
I paint I draw and paint - I've been doing that since I was in third grade, drawing realistically and then changing to abstract art. That was my first creative thing before guitar or comedy.
Steven Wright
I bought a house on a one-way dead-end road. I don’t know how I got there.
Steven Wright
I feel very lucky to make a living from my imagination I'm very grateful for that. I like that what I do is create. I'm feeling very lucky to have had the career I had. It's gone much longer and bigger than I ever thought it would be.
Steven Wright
A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space. On the back it said, 'Wish you were here.
Steven Wright