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always remember your unique, just like everone else

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Else
Remember
Always
Like
Unique

More quotes by Steven Wright

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I didn't tell any of my friends that I wanted to be a comedian, because I was superstitious. I thought if I told people, it wouldn't happen. So I kept it all in my head for years and years.
Steven Wright
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Real life? Well, I just hope mine isn't investigated. They might find that I don't really exist - that I'm just a hologram.
Steven Wright
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I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.
Steven Wright
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I have a map of the united states .... it's original size ... it says one mile equals one mile.
Steven Wright
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I have a fax machine with fax waiting.
Steven Wright
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Everything is within walking distance, as long as you have time.
Steven Wright
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After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting out of the water?
Steven Wright
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I have not lost my mind - it's backed up on disk somewhere.
Steven Wright
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They say we're 98% water. We're that close to drowning. I like to live on the edge.
Steven Wright
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For my sister's 50th birthday, I sent her a singing mammogram.
Steven Wright
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I rented a lottery ticket. I won a million dollars. But I had to give it back.
Steven Wright
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Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.
Steven Wright
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When I was ten, my pa told me never to talk to strangers. We haven't spoken since.
Steven Wright
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Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn shop?
Steven Wright
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I've been doing comedy longer than I haven't been doing comedy, as I was performing for three years before I even got on 'The Tonight Show.' There's truly nothing like it it's intense and exhilarating, even though it looks so casual.
Steven Wright
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It's a fine night to have an evening.
Steven Wright
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I feel very lucky to make a living from my imagination I'm very grateful for that. I like that what I do is create. I'm feeling very lucky to have had the career I had. It's gone much longer and bigger than I ever thought it would be.
Steven Wright
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Hermits have no peer pressure.
Steven Wright
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Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone...when I came back the entire area was missing.
Steven Wright
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Imagine Pulitzer prizefighting.
Steven Wright