Quote

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask if I'm leaving.

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Funny
Spots
Many
Count
Real
Bored
Great
Drive
Like
Leaving
Downtown
People
Car
Parking
Humor
Spot
Asks
Boredom

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If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
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A fool and his money are soon partying.
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My school colors were clear. We used to say, 'I'm not naked, I'm in the band.
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I'm kinda tired. I was up all night trying to round off infinity. Then I got bored and went out and painted passing lines on curved roads.
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On the other hand, you have different fingers.
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I washed a sock. Then I put it in the dryer. When I took it out, it was gone.
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I've never seen electricity, that's why I don't pay for it
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I live at the end of a dead end one way street. I don't know how I got there.
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I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side.
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Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
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The things I talk about and explain couldn't happen - yet, they don't seem impossible - you could say I talk about the world in an abstract perspective. But then, the world is basically insane - and it's trying to pass itself off as being a sane place. I show it for what it is.
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I went camping and borrowed a circus tent by mistake. I didn't notice until I got it set up. People complained because they couldn't see the lake.
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I'm addicted to placebos. I could quit, but it wouldn't matter.
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Babies don't need a vacation. But I still see them at the beach. It pisses me off.
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They say we're 98% water. We're that close to drowning. I like to live on the edge.
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I saw a sign at a gas station. It said 'help wanted'. There was another sign below it that said 'self service'. So I hired myself. Then I made myself the boss. I gave myself a raise. I paid myself. Then I quit.
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I'm so hyper. (said with a very dull voice>
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Consciousness: That annoying time between naps
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I made a chocolate cake with white chocolate. Then I took it to a potluck. I stood in line for some cake. They said, Do you want white cake or chocolate cake? I said, yes.
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Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone...when I came back the entire area was missing.
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